3 REST DAYS

haaay, It's been the 3rd day. 3 straight days haven't see him online (what I mean, OL with cams) though he will log in like at 9pm there or around 5pm here in the Cebu. But sadly, I'm in my work and can't just adjust nor find a way to go online where I can see him. Luckily got my uzzap still working, at least we have time to talk but not see each other. I so miss him, as in so much...

I tried waking up as early as I can than the usual days I woke up, wishing he'll go online and thinking he want to see me also. But I think it's just my imagination acting up a bit.Maybe he's just too busy on something or there's just too much work to do or maybe enjoying the 3 days RD. I just don't know what he is up to right now but I need not to freak out as I promised him, I need to think that no matter what happen everything is just fine, just like normal days. But this is not normal, I feel so awful. Normal days is going online talkin' and seeing him.

I need to lessen some things (love, care, attention) , lengthen my patience & understand. Give him a break for this is what he need, as he kept on saying. Thus, I'm trying to give it to him though I suck at this for my heart want him always, need him like I've never needed anyone in my life before.

I can't deny that my days are incomplete without seeing him. My days are so damn awful when I can't hear anything from  him. My days are so sad & lonely without the thoughts of him and those are killing me deep inside. Those 3 days that he's out of my sight is like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. I've been trying to look for him everywhere, even locking my eyes to his FB profile, browsing his pictures, reading his messages again and again but it can't seem to heal my longing heart. It so different when I'm able to see him through skype cam & chat with him in yahoo messenger or used gmail for me to see him clearly. It's different when I got to see his smiles just only for me. It's so different to hear him when he'll said "i love you kulit". It's so different when I got to see how he yawn when his sleepy for we've been talking for hours. It's so different when he'll make fun of his self or crack silly jokes so that I can laugh my heart out. It's so different when I know you're just there on the other side looking at me. Whew! I really wanna cry...dom dom dom dom... & all I'm thinking is it's my choice to get affected so I shouldn't get affected. I shouldn't!!! (but my heart is already whipping sadly)

I need to focus on making myself happy now even if it means without seeing him for the next couple of days. argh! or I need not to freak out and have patience that high so that I'll not going to get mad and start a fight.

I just remembered one line from Ms. Sheryl : "If mo.online, maayo. If dli mo.online, kevs wui!!!"

so kevs jd!!!

X'mas Gift

Belated X'mas Gift

This cause me 2 sleepless nights (sleep 3am in the morning) and my wrist from throbbing. My Rest Day last Dec. 26-27 are one of the busiest day after those busy days I have before from making something special.

This is my belated X'mas gift for someone special, can't give the full details yet for it's still a SURPRISE but he already knew. How can this be a surprise? Well, secret...  It's for him to find out. Can't wait 'till I have the hard copy or the output of my hardwork.

Because he is so SPECIAL, the efforts, the sleepless nights, the back ache, headache and the wrist throbbing is all worth it.

Well be posting sooner for the full details and the content.

Keep posted for updates!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

CHRISTMAS won't be the same without YOU!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS myBanako!!!

I still have the perfect Christmas gift ever and tha'ts having YOU in my life. Even though our Xmas eve turned out not that good but I know for sure that deep in our hearts we both want to have a Merry Christmas. Thus, it's never too late... & never too late for all the things we talked about last night...

Merry Christmas myBanako!!! iloveyousomuch, no occassion that I wish you're with me. For it will be more merrier, more happier to spend Christmas and to spend all days with you. There's nothing I could ask for more than just be with somone whom I wanna spend my life with and it's YOU...

by the way, a little reminder:
"when things get wrong never ever suggest of letting go for it's a little reminder that this time, you should hold on more", right? iLoveyousomuchmyBanako...

wishing you a happy blessed Christmas & hopefully, sooner I'll be with you... mwaaahhhh

Hope to be with you soon..mwah..


iL0vey0usomuchmyBanako..mwah...



L0ve L0ts,
kulit, your asawa

hoping, praying, wishing and looking forward to be with You again...

Happy 6th anniversary

Happy 6th anniversary myBanako!

Whew!... its been 6 years myBanako.. dugaya na nato wui! nanigowang nata aning atong relasyon B...hehehe...

Haay! I was looking for a pic myBanako earlier so that I'll give it to you as a gift. Those pictures were already posted in our FB account and in tumbleblog and also here.

I miss you myBanako, I was reminiscing our memories together when I was looking for a pix. haaay, wish you're here with me and wish I'm there. For 6 years, still love jpon ayoooooooooooo tka. You're everything that I wanted. God made my dream come true when I found you and love you. Can't imagine still that its already 6 years B. 6 years...

Do you still remember what happened 6 years ago? hmm...nakalimot nako!..bwahahaha..

myBanako, i love you... i love you so much.. if you'll count how many times I already said those 3 words for sure, you can no longer count it. It doesn't matter anyway, love jd tka...hehehe..

inLove man jpon ko nmo B wui, hehhehe... You still make me so happy despite with the situation right now. Don't worry myBanako, mg.happy2x nata hap! & I'll try my very best nga dli njd mangaway and dapat mo.sabot ko sa situation.

myBanako, iL0veyousomuch... nothing more to say and more to feel than "You're always here with me. I keep you in a safe place here in my heart...."

i miss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu so much..mwaaah.


Happy 6th anniversary myBanako! mwwah..

iL0veyousomuchmyBanako & i always will...

Hope to be with you soon..mwah..


iL0vey0usomuchmyBanako..mwah...



L0ve L0ts,
kulit, your asawa

hoping, praying, wishing and looking forward to be with You again...

Happy 6th anniversary

Happy 6th anniversary myBanako!

Nothing that I could ask for more than be with you for the rest of my life....for all of my heart and for all of ME...

i miss you so much...

iL0veyousomuchmyBanako...mwah...

ONE WISH

It's my special day and I only slept for about 4 hours for I arrived late from our Xmas party last night in which I though I will not enjoyed. *luckily i was able to enjoy it despite thinking some other things...

I actually received a text last night from him and made me wanna hear his voice but he did not answer phone for I guess his already sleeping og gahagok njd ang show. But despite it, he made my night and put my best smile.

I was planning not to celebrate my birthday for I was thinking its no good still for I don't have him with me. But after reading his heart-warming teary-breaking message I then, decided to celebrate and be happy on this day. And I felt happy for I know His with me though not physically but his with ME hear in my little heart.

I ONLY HAVE ONE WISH & BEEN WISHING IT 'TILL I FOUND HIM: BE WITH ME AS LONG AS I LIVE myBanako...

THAANKKK YOUOO SO MUCH myBanako... You never fail to make me so haaapppyy.. I'm sorry I let you worry at times and I was setting boundaries. storya rato B wui! para maningoha kah, kai relax2x rapa pd kah!... hehehehe.. But the truth is, I WANNA SPEND MY ENTIRE LIFE WITH YOU, og ikaw rjd!!!... mwaaaah...

iL0vey0usomuchmyBanako..mwaah..

hoping my next birthday you're already in my side...

Happy Birthday My Kulit

Hi Kulit!

wui2x happy bday na niya.. hehe. let me sing you a song " maligayang bati sa 'yung kaarawan happy3x bday!". btaw kulit try to be happy eventhough things are going not we wanted. 8 seemed very hard though but just try to see the bright side of things around you and hopefully you'll see the answers. Strip off your fears and you'll find peace. Bet all your trust and I won't lose it promise. hehe. di lgi sureness! bhala ka f dli ka believe. Kulit I'm not really happy of what's been happening to us since we r thousands of miles apart. I just couldn't bear d thought seeing you not very well these past few months. I need you to be strong coz n U i gain strength. I need you to understand though you always say it back to my face that I am the one who failed. Sorry tawn day! boss madam wa tuyua usahay di ko ka.inform nmo circumstances lng maam which I couldn't control. Btaw kulit I need U not 2 freak out ky ng.behave tawn ko as far as I could remmber.hehe. Btaw honest!. binuang ra kulit hap. Anyway, this should be all about your bday and not making excuses for myself in which I strongly plead my innocence. Dghan njd ka role ko life my aswa judge npd kah. hehe. I have some birthday wishes for you kulit:


1. Health- I wish all the best possible healthy mind nd body u could attain. So ayaw jd tawn pataka kaon day sa gawas bantay ka lng. You'd better bring your own lunch than kaon bisan asa. Take care of yourself! that's the most I could ask you to do for me. Don't let anybody to hurt u unless u permit them to do so. Ahak guilty ko ani! Sorry kulit i ddnt mean those. I'm willing to change for the better pero gradual lng sah. hehe

2. Career- May you find happiness at work. Ahak guilty npd ko ani coz u put a lot more of emotions rather than focusing on what you are doing then what will happen? ruins everything!. lecture nani kulit not a wish. hehe. Btaw be happy sa work I don't want to elaborate ky mag.tigi npd ta ani. I really want you to pursue your IT field but it's up to you I'm in whichever you like to!

3. Relationship- I wish an everlasting relationship with you. I've never been so spoiled like this before. Sorry for at times you felt like I was abusing it. Thank you for loving me this much kulit although most of the time I always tell you to lessen coz it's way too too too much. Very thankful for that kulit.. One more thing, I wish you could tighten your grip more just enough to see your hand marks whenever we have to let go. We'll try our best kulit!- not giving conditions and setting boundaries to give up.


I've been always wishing that you are here with me every minute of my day. I miss all about you. Miss your hugs and kisses my aswa. I've been sick without them. I love you so much. Happy Birthday!. Mwah. I love you kulit.

bound to wait

thinking with the days that passed....................

and oh!...days passed by so quickly.. you can't just notice it, i guess. for my life right now is bound to wait. and the more, i think of waiting, the more wreck and the more insane i become. i just couldn't let a day pass without getting crazy for waiting specially with some not-so-good factors that includes in waiting. i don't wanna wait in vain and I do hate waiting since ever since I know how vast life is. if i want something, i want to have it like RIGHT NOW. I'm always like that. And life is not about getting all you want right away, you need to wait for the right time for there is a right time for anything, everything or every dreams that will come true. And I'm just one hell damn s* stupid girl, for not believing in that. And right now, is my test. argh!. My test is so damn difficult. i hate it.. i hate it much.. i so damn hate it... but what can I do?

my thought will still be back to a no choice answer and that's : WAIT...

For true love can wait, even if it takes forever... forever? oh!.so damn, take my life now... that can't be... but I know & I must believe that everything will fall into place, everything will be fine, HIM and ME will be back in each others arms again. All I just need to keep in mind and do is HOLD ON, FIGHT THE LONELINESS & WAIT...

December 4

Its already....hmmmm, let me check the calendar what day is it already. *checkingmylaptopcalendar

Oh!. its alreday December 4, just how many days for Christmas or my Special Day. Honestly, don't want to think about it. Don't want to think of anything. I just want to think of NOTHING. Nothing that could somehow hide this holiday blues that I'm feeling. I know I can't just avoid parties for it's December and there will be like 2 parties that I should attend. First, Company part. Second, Team Party. But I wanna think that I attend not because of celebrating the holidays but just attending for it is required/needed. I'm needed to be there, like a prerequisite subject. Haaay, how I wish and wish and wish that I can just sleep all throughout the year and wake up 'till he come back. Will that be possible?

I need you, I need you...this is killing me especially this coming holiday. But I have and need to continue living for you. I have to...

i need you, i need you...more & more each day