When I'm with you by Faber Drive is one song that will made my eyes moist. Swear!!! Since the time, my special someone let me hear that song can't help my tears from falling. I still remembered one fine Monday morning on the 25th of August. Click here to see the previous post on what happened that day & 'till now still have the same feeling when I'll hear this song.
And I happened to drop by Anabel's tumbleblog. Annabel, a 16 year-old messed up female from Singapore (as her description in her tumbleblog). She made nice pictotexts as what she called it. So, here it is my request. I actually dedicate it, to the same guy who means every thing and the world to me.
I'll hold on to our promises and plans. I'll never break the promise I made to you either. & I'll be waiting for your come back...
iL0vey0usomuchmyBanako...mwaaahhhhhhh really miss you so much....
I was so freaking out a while ago... contrary on what I feel on the 20th. now, I'm drained and freaking so tired. I know I'm such a stupid big spoiled brat & when i have my temper it so hard to control it... tantrums overrule me & can't think anything right or good.
People just don't have any idea how I'll freak out. You have this feeling like you wanna punch the wall so hard that you don't care your hands will get bruised...like you wanna throw all things you hold and don't care you'll get hurt... like you just wanna cry buckets and buckets of tears... like you're in your peak of anger that made your breathing so hard and your BP so high (even tore the the picture I posted in the wall)....I admit, I was like this beyond words could ever describe.
Once I'm so damn mad, so damn freaking out, so damn have this tantrums it would surely the hell out of me to ever so control it... no matter how I tried, it just it's so hard...
I just want it to burst out, let it all go...and cried....screaaaaaaammmmm.....
I was like this a while ago... or before and still now can quite change how I cope up if I get hurt...
Maybe, its just so me...but the worst me... & one thing that can trigger it is getting so badly really badddllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hurt...
I know it's kinda bad & really need to change it & I'm dealing with it as hard as I can. I am a transparent individual, what ever I'm feeling it affects what will happen for my entire day. And so, I need to be fine to go on...and move on, thus, one person can help me move on and be ok. The same person who hurt me so bad. The same person who he said : "he created a monster". The same person who will let me cry buckets of tears. Yeah, it sound I'm so dependent & that explains the other story of my life that made me so hard to adjust for the couple of months for his so far away.
His words are just so powerful that it heals my broken heart.
His smile is so angelic that I know for sure I'll be back in the right way.
His invisible arms that I know are hugging me tight ,comforting me and assuring me that he'll be there for me not leaving me while I'm dealing with my worst self.
He know exactly how to make me feel ok and back to my normal self. No matter how I cried bucket of tears earlier before going to work, he managed to make me ok. He still does, and that quite made me happy for I know he'll still be the guy I choose to see my worst self and still be the guy I wanna spend with my normal and loving self.
Thank you for the patience and understanding myBanako... You deserve all my love. mwah
I'm so happy that we still have each other & still perfectly in love in spite of the not perfect situation we have.
& I'm so happy that for 73rd months, I'm busy every 20th of the month because I'll be doing something special for you. I'm so happy that your still there not leaving me, fighting with me.
I'm happy that I'm still in love with you and so you are to me...
Was scanning my scrapbook and found out this valentine letter dated Feb. 20, 2006...
20 Things He LOVE about US.
1. OUR LOVE
2. OUR SACRIFICE
3. OUR :*
4. OUR HUG
5. OUR CARE
6. OUR BELIEF
7. OUR HOLDING HANDS
8. EVERY PLANS WE HAD BAHALA WALA KLARO
9. THE WAY WE CALL EACH OTHER (BbF & kuLiT)
10. THE OFTEN WE MET
11. OUR IMPOSSIBLE YET REALISTIC PLANS
12. OUR WHISPER OF 'I LOVE YOU's'
13. OUR 20th OF THE MONTH
14. OUR MESSAGES
15. OUR GIFTS
16. OUR MOVIE WATCHING
17. OUR RING
18. OUR TRUST
19. OUR SONGS
20. HIS HAPPINESS & MY HAPPINESS
Of course, there are explanations behind it but choose to have it that way...
i miss youuuu so much myBanako...
There will be 20million other reasons what I love about US, but it's always be 'YOU' on top of the list...
New Year, new months to wait, new days to spend...
Another 365 1/4 days has passed and still nothing new about this love I have for you. For I've been constantly and always falling in love with you.
Our 2009 seems to be a nightmare to me for you're so milessss away from me. Distance is killing me inside. I was having a difficult year without you. Experienced a lot of first times of the 5 years we're together. Surprisingly, I managed to face it all. I was able to say to myself "Kaya ra diay! I CAN!!! whew..."
Creating memories for the first time without you is really an awful thing to do. Waking up each day with the thoughts of you miles away get on my nerves. Celebrating monthsarries, anniversaries and occasions without you by my side is really killing me inside.
Throughout the entire year we experienced a lot. We even experienced a lot of first times without having each other. Bummer may it seems without you but what else we can do.
I never thought that January 2009, will be the last month that we can spend all 30 days having each other. If I only knew that we'll part ways sooner we could have celebrate all the occasions and all our Special days in advance, if only, we could have...
I simply can't imagine myself celebrating Heart's Day last February in net cafe.
I never thought that arguing with you while miles apart for the first time last time in March would be that very difficult.
And when Aprilcomes, I never realized that how much I miss saying 'i love you to you' in person that I could only spam it through our blog.
Wanting to say it's too much was all I felt last May. However, I simply can't just deny that I kept on dreaming about you and that I'm reminisicing each last days with you.
Last June, I could only wish one thing having "1 BIG HAPPY FAMILY WITH YOU'' with you as my only husband. It was this time also the first time I'm dealing with my self to be a better me. It was this time when we're also dealing with our differences.
But yet, on July 'You're still the reason that I can smile in a cold Sunday morning'.
One day in August, I feel so betrayed & you're at your worst self feeling the confusion with our relationship. And it scared me to death, that made me say 'LDR is not an easy thing'...
As we entered the first 'ber-months' which is September. I can't help myself from giving you WISHES every single day & can't help looking forward to be with you each day.
October comes still have the thoughts of you. We got Emmy & Ace, our 2 adorable, helpful, amazing kids. But still, missing you much as each day passed by.
Still missing you, thinking of you and wanting to be with you in Novemeber. I was still dealing with my self, I even realized that I have such a sweet misery.
When December came, still realize I'm still so much in love with you. Celebrating my special day, our special day and Jesus special day. Though we're miles apart but we managed to be together despite what happened throughout the day.
With this 2010, surely there will be a lot of new experiences and new memories to create. New things to learn. New person to met. There will be new things this year ahead but I want you to know that this year ahead. I'll still be the kulit who'll always love you so much. The kulit who will always stay by your side. The same kulit who will be fighting & waiting 'till I'll be in your arms again.
I'll still be the kulit you love and still be you're kulit no matter how our year starts and how it ends.
Feel free to read anything about the two of US. This blog is intended really for OUR MEMORIES that we wanna share to everyone as well & let you be apart of it.
Our blog sounds a lil bit chezzy but we don't care for as long as we have keepsake of our memories that we can read anytime & anywhere! (esp. for him)
I'll be posting memories & thoughts every now & then so keep updated & feel free to read and post comments!!! ciao :)
