The night that was....
Labels: cry, missin someoneThe night that was...
So, what really happenned last night, why did I cry myself to sleep? Nothing much really but the fact that I think I can't take it anymore.
I wake up with a headache for I was not able to sleep well last night. I was crying my heart out. My sister, was still awake when I arrived home and she then, have a lil chit-chat with me on my room while playing with ace. We then talked for a while about boys, about him and about this feeling I have. But I didn't cry infront of her, for I don't want her to have any idea that I'm really having difficulty with the situation I have now with him. I was pretending to be cool.
After which, I pretended to be asleep for she is still playing with Ace but then, the real truth. I was crying myself to sleep. Even in the office, during my 1 hour break, there are bunch of gays practicing and laughigh but I don't even have the courage to lift my lips to smile. For what I wanna do is cry but trying to stop it coz' I don't want anybody will notice it... the heck, I'm writing my emotion right now... d:(
I was crying 'til I was able to sleep, the result I woke up with a headache.
Nothing had happenned why I cried. It's just that I felt needing him last night most, but he was not able to go online. (already know the reason, but I understand and pretended to not understood it)
I just don't know how I'll control all this mixed emotions and all the question I have. Then, pretend is fine. Pretend everything are alright. I wished I'm like anybody that can just pretend & hide the pains through the smiles especially with him. For I know I'm putting pressures on him and hopefuly *crossingmyfingers* he will understand what I went through. It's just that its so really hard, to wake up each day where you just imagined him also next to you. It's really hard to comfort all yourself without him by my side, comforting me when I needed him too. It's so hard to just close my eyes and imagine him hugging me like it has never happenned.
I know this is just a test of time. I know, but its hard... huuhuhuh... d:(
But still, I don't have a choice. We are separated with time and distance. He is millions apart from me right now.
No choice, even how tired and how much I feel giving up. At the end of the day I'll still find myself falling inlove with him more & more each day...
So, what really happenned last night, why did I cry myself to sleep? Nothing much really but the fact that I think I can't take it anymore.
I wake up with a headache for I was not able to sleep well last night. I was crying my heart out. My sister, was still awake when I arrived home and she then, have a lil chit-chat with me on my room while playing with ace. We then talked for a while about boys, about him and about this feeling I have. But I didn't cry infront of her, for I don't want her to have any idea that I'm really having difficulty with the situation I have now with him. I was pretending to be cool.
After which, I pretended to be asleep for she is still playing with Ace but then, the real truth. I was crying myself to sleep. Even in the office, during my 1 hour break, there are bunch of gays practicing and laughigh but I don't even have the courage to lift my lips to smile. For what I wanna do is cry but trying to stop it coz' I don't want anybody will notice it... the heck, I'm writing my emotion right now... d:(
I was crying 'til I was able to sleep, the result I woke up with a headache.
Nothing had happenned why I cried. It's just that I felt needing him last night most, but he was not able to go online. (already know the reason, but I understand and pretended to not understood it)
I just don't know how I'll control all this mixed emotions and all the question I have. Then, pretend is fine. Pretend everything are alright. I wished I'm like anybody that can just pretend & hide the pains through the smiles especially with him. For I know I'm putting pressures on him and hopefuly *crossingmyfingers* he will understand what I went through. It's just that its so really hard, to wake up each day where you just imagined him also next to you. It's really hard to comfort all yourself without him by my side, comforting me when I needed him too. It's so hard to just close my eyes and imagine him hugging me like it has never happenned.
I know this is just a test of time. I know, but its hard... huuhuhuh... d:(
But still, I don't have a choice. We are separated with time and distance. He is millions apart from me right now.
No choice, even how tired and how much I feel giving up. At the end of the day I'll still find myself falling inlove with him more & more each day...
1 comment:
i really appreciate d way u express your feelings. always do this and surely you'll be alryt. Everything happens for a reason kulit. Be strong. We need each other now. i love you so much.. mwah..
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