when to say it's too MUCH....

When to say it's too MUCH....

When 2 say 8s t0o much?..i'v ben l0ving d same guy 4 0lm0st 5yers..im hapi nl0ve..wer crazy,madly,deply nl0ve..but dspyt d l0ve. u sh0d als0 c0nsidr, aceptance, undrstanding, asurance, 0ne's reservati0n, c0mitment nd most importantly TRUST.. despyt d gret l0v we fel, tings wil f0l apart f d0s r n0t present n a rlati0nshp.. as imperfect girl as i am, i admit i c0mit mistakes.. i hurt him b4.. i betrayed him.. i disap0intd him.. i br0k his trust nd respect.. i hid s0 manytings fr0m him b4.. h0wever, my life d0esnt st0p 0n c0miting d same mstakes 0vr nd 0vr again.. my life doesnt stop on blaming or hating others, my life doesnt stop on hiding things... as much as my life doesnt stop on proving to him each day that i am too is suffering with alll the things i've did before.... my life, continues to fight and conquer each odds... my life, continues to grow for the same guy i've loved for 5 years... my life, goes on and is revolving around him and only him...
[thoughts made on my phone and was sent to my company email using uzzap]


but despyt all of dis... there are just things that will really turn our hearts out...

especially things from the past that we nor I can't escape...

me t0o, hav felings... me t0o,kn0ws h0w 2 undrstand nd is reli capable 0f undrstanding.. me t0o,kn0ws h0w and when 2 get hurt.. me t0o, kn0ws h0w 2 put myself n sam1 else's sh0es.. Me t0o,kn0ws h0w t0 fyt nd h0ld 0n.. me too, is capable of changing... me t0o,kn0ws wen t0 say it's too much.. but, one thing I don't know how... i d0nt kn0w how and when 2 ST0p and giv up..

i myt b unique n sam aspects as I may say..but im als0 a typical gal wh0's fytin nd h0ldin 0n 4 d l0ve 0f ds 0ne lad..h0 made my w0rld upside d0wn..nside 0ut.. wh0se "i l0ve u" maters evryting 2 me nd wil surely make me 0k.. whose words "yaw ko byae kulit..." will made her cry for no reasons and will made her insane for she will just smile while tears keep falling....

i keep on thinking what really makes me happy... what do i really want... for if his like this, i'm so down.... i felt that my body is 6 feet below the ground.... i felt that i'm so worthless.. i felt that i'm so cruel and so bad... i felt there's nothing good in me... i felt that I'm a parasite.. and i keep on asking myself if i can live a life that will really meet his expectations towards me... if still i can be the girl that he wanted to share his entire life with... for i know for a fact, that i'm not really the perfect girl for him but i'm perfectly so much in love with him despite my imperfections... and through the sleepless night, and again and again arguing on the same issue.. still, my mind and heart goes back to where it really belongs and to where it will really feel so much happiness... true happiness...

my life and my heart belongs to only Him, myBanako, myBaBy.. to [FRANCIS ESGUERRA] ONLY...
as I'm only me when I'm with you myBanako... through up's and down's i'm only me when i'm with YOU... og kaw rjd B naka.ila nq ana!....

hahahay, i'm now carried away with my love to him...

i shoud ought'ta say everything that keeps bothering me since last night... i shoud ought'ta say "it's too much".. i should ought'ta say "i'm badly hurt" and "i can't take it anymore"... but having the thoughts with him and about him... i can't even put a placed in my heart that I should get mad at him for continuing hurting me through his words... for not trusting me... i really just can't... i'm still filled with so much love to him... i'm still thinking that I can no matter what words came out from him or how much he'll hurt me.. i just don't know when to stop when it comes to him...

i'm committing my love... i'm reserving my life... i'm giving more than everything to him... though I know it's still not enough to him but I'm still willing and will continue doing more than everything eventhough it will mean i'm exerting beyond my capabailities and nothing's left for me...

for his more than everything to me...

I'm sorry myBanako...
iL0vey0usomuchmyBanako.... love jd ayo tka B wui...

Love Lots,

kULiT, your asawa, hoping, praying, wishing and looking forward to be with You again.